Reinvention: strive for the unknown- part 2

PART TWO

From speaking to Kia, I realised that she is rewarded by her changes through seeing the happiness that she has created for the people around her. This made me think that maybe it’s a good idea to reward the changes that go well in your lives.

Maybe it’s as simple as, knowing when you are on the right track and taking time to reward yourself and keeping yourself positive about reaching that end goal.

It’s also a fact that most goals take time and so you should never feel like reinvention should be quick; it is a gradual process which you need to plan a strategy for. If change happens too quickly, it might tire you out much before you have done anything worthwhile with your life. 

If you do fail, don’t let this stop you ever striving for change again. Failure is part of our learning process. Rather than hiding in your closet ask for feedback or assess where you went wrong. Then the next time you cannot falter along the way.

If you are a budding, young writer then you should always make time for reinvention, especially as it is one of those careers that can offer the most variety without having to strenuously study for the change.

To start the process,  young writers should firstly take some time off or find some free time where they can just think about their plan and their goal for change for a first few days. Take a retreat if you must but find a quiet place to think without any distractions.

Once you have a strategy, stick to it! There is nothing worse than knowing what could have been. Be serious about this change. Tell yourself that you cannot go back to your old life.

Reinvention has been popular even when individuals have rewarding careers already. For instance, Donatella Versace who is infamous for her designer brand clothing decided to take a different turn in the fashion world. 

 She created a new line for high street brand H&M which was a result of more than the year’s preparations. This result was not as easy as creating her ready- to – wear lines for her own collections for which she has had years of practice.

Her main reason for this change was to educate the youth about the history of Versace.

“I wanted to show the young people what Versace is. I was expecting H&M to tell me, ‘No, you can’t do this,’ but I gave them some samples, and they came back with something very similar. We live in the world of fashion, the world of young people,” she said.

Here again, Donatella had doubts that this change might have not worked but pursued it anyway since she was passionate about it. 

Even more, Joan Rivers, the comedian known for her sarcasm and ‘don’t – care’ attitude says that she likes her phases of reinvention and does not let anyone stop her.

“My career is very fluid. People always say to me “You keep reinventing yourself” and you just want to stare at them. You just go with the opportunity. I’m constantly writing, I’m constantly performing. I’m on the air in ‘Fashion Police’ but I’m also writing the show and the ‘Joan and Melissa’ show, “she says.

Filmmaker Nora Ephron famous for Oscar- nominated writing for When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail reveals that it is never too late to reinvent yourself. 

The 60 – year – old who has worked as a journalist, on President JFK’s campaign, director, filmmaker and writer feels that perhaps women have it easier.

“Women are sometimes in a better position than men to reinvent themselves. Men are more likely to get stuck in ruts, which is one reason why so many of them buy things like boats instead of switching careers, “she mentions.

Why not begin the change today? Change can only bring rewards and if you are positive, it should ensure your happiness and success in every part of your life. 

Try something different today!

Reinvention: strive for the unknown - part 1

PART ONE

Have you ever felt the need to do something else in your life but feel afraid of the thought of change? Maybe your family has told you that it is too late to change careers or that you have too much commitment and responsibility to ever get out of the rut you now find yourself in?

“The truth is most people are so afraid,” says Kia.

“Most people are living their lives under labels and once you have been labelled as something it becomes a task in itself to break free of that perception of yourself. Mainly because the people around you will fight pretty hard to ensure you stay in that category they have created for you.”

                                                                        
As we were chatting, I tried to think long and hard about the time when I have been labelled and I can certainly see this ideology as a fact as I struggle to live up to the image of my loved ones.

Now, I know that entering new territory should never be frightening but exciting.

When you reinvent yourself at a young age, change always has the potential to be great. Some have said that we can be happier if we de clutter and cleanse our lives.  

Leave your baggage behind whether it is objects or people. Other individuals should not have the right to drag you down with them.

Once you have restored your mental state, it is time to get physical. The best way to feel alive again is to energize the body. I find that if I start the day with 20 minutes of yoga or gentle exercise, I am much happier for the rest of the day and the general ‘tube rush’ in London does not bother me. I am able to deal with difficulties that arise as calmly as possible and know that it is just part of life.

A friend in India recently told me that she is afraid of changing careers. She studied sciences at university and cannot deal with the voices that will ridicule her for not being great at the main subject that she studied. 

We are all fearful of our future at some point in our lives but it is how we deal with it that is most important. We need to trust ourselves and ignore the negative voices that tell us, there are no ways out of our current situation.  Don’t let these voices stop you from progressing to a new level.

“I never accept labels,” says Kia. “If you think I am one thing today, I will be another tomorrow. I just never want to be boxed in, caved in, blocked into anything because I love the taste of freedom and I love the buzz that the unknown brings.”

“I am very good at creating possibilities for myself but my fear comes with meeting new people. People are often too quick to tell me I am successful because they somehow see success within me that I can’t recognise within myself.”

“How do you mean?” I asked.

 “I guess I cringe when people say that because as in my eyes I am not and there are still so much to do to get to the level I want,” Kia says. 

“It will take tremendous level of patience and passion, determination resilience, commitment, discipline- all the things I pray that I develop on a daily basis because they are not easy at all. I think the key though is to constantly give, because people don’t realise that success lies in giving, really it does,” she smiles happily.

“I just desperately want to share my book with the world and will wait in anticipation like a little kid asking ‘so what do you think of it? Do you like it?’ This can be both scary and exciting but in order for me to get to the point of sharing I must reinvent,” she explains.

“I must enter into the unknown and I must be willing to give. This is how I view success. I don’t view it as monetary gain meaning that I can now afford to buy the latest designer handbag. I view  success as in how many people have I inspired with my vision, my work and if I haven’t  moved   enough people with my craft, then I aspire to inspire more. It’s that simple. “

I must admit that I have become very fond of Kia. She really is very genuine. I do believe that she pushes herself to the limit and she always strives for something.

But is this all to reinvention? Find out more, in Part 2...

‘When perfect is not perfect enough’ - part 2

                                                                         PART TWO

                                                                                                                                                                          
......In the past, I have been guilty of striving for perfection when submitting work or potentially missing deadlines even when I know there is nothing more to add.

As a young writer, you can also face this problem when writing an article. Your editor constantly reminds you that your work only needs to be ‘workable’ as it is up to editors or sub – editors to decide on how the final version will look. Yet, you slave away at night producing at that ‘perfect’ piece, totally exhausted by the end.

I often wonder about why people feel the need to be perfect. Some dwell too much on their past mistakes and try to make the present a place where nothing can go wrong. Others are and remain anxious about their future and so their whole life is built around creating a selection of perfect anecdotes along the way.

If perfectionism is controlled and is present in only one part of your life, that is not a bad thing. Say that you decide you want to be better at creating suspense and so you spend more time in your novel doing so, reworking it until it is perfect. Eventually, readers will be hooked on the novel you wrote because of the effort spent on creating tension within your plot.

However, I believe that even if you aim for being perfect in everything you do, it will not last forever and the initial spark slowly dies after each event or project has ended.

“There is always going to be someone who can do as well or even better than you,” I said to Kia. “It’s inevitable.”

“I know,” she had said. “That’s why I push myself to beat myself because I am not competing with anyone else but myself. The only performances that matters are mines because that’s the only thing I can control. 


I look at people that have strived for what they want with admiration because they have paved the way so I can do the same and I want to pave the way for someone else so I can’t accept defeat because my goal is to be a part of the history of change.”

For me, it all began with my parents. Coming from an Asian background, I was taught that I should do well, no matter what the cost. When I was younger and living in India, I was always pushed to get higher grades than others and when I failed to get the grades that another did manage to get, I was made to feel bad about it. 


Not that I was a bad student. I won certificates for my academic school life and was in charge of tutoring other students. But, I never understood that I should just be happy with my academic potential rather than striving to be a bigger brainiac.

It was something that I knew, in my heart of hearts, could not be achieved. 

And I am not alone in this perfectionism battle. Take famous sportspeople like Tiger Woods and Andre Agassi.

Tiger Woods who has recently been in the papers for other reasons had to practice his golf skills tirelessly when he was younger whilst his dad trained him to perform under any situation. Most of his childhood was spent in training Tiger in the area of mental toughness which paid off. One could say that Tiger Woods would have not turned into the golfing champion he is today, without the preparation taken by his father.

                                                                            

Andre Agassi’s father took the tennis training challenge even further by building a ball machine for a young Agassi which he then used to practice his tennis serve. No wonder he holds the record for the strongest return serves in tennis history today!

But one cannot help wondering whether the two celebrities especially Woods has had their childhood cut short by the demanding regimes. Emotionally, they were meant to act like adults. In place of the freedom to act as normal children would, at that age, there were strict goals to follow which they should have not been subjected to.

“The only thing, I never feel the need to push is my writing ability,” Kia says.

“Whenever I write, I just feel that’s it... it’s almost like...like...magic...I can never explain it...sometimes I dream the world I am creating like it really exist..I don’t need to think, it’s like my hands just knows what to write...it’s automated....it’s like I have seen that world before...”

So how did I try and break out of my bubble? I came to London of course and discovered that there was much more to life than simply ‘studying perfection’. I wanted to have a laugh, wanted to go to concerts and clubs with my friends and most of all, I wanted to enjoy myself without feeling the pressure to be perfect.

Best selling British broadcaster and author, Simon Winchester admits that the process of writing is never perfect, no matter how much you want it to be.  

He said, “Whenever I begin a book I set the [word] counter with the start date, the number of words to write, the contract date and a very simple calculation- the number of words needed each day to meet the deadline. One hundred days, 100,000 words: 1000 words each day is the initial goal. But things change: the writing life is imperfect, however noble the intentions. Some days are good and maybe I’ll write 1500 words, while others are much less satisfactory and, for a variety of reasons, I may write virtually nothing. So be it.”

                                                                                                                                         

So there you have it. Being perfect is not always as important as enjoying life and living for the present. So until next time, keep writing and give yourself a break, sometimes...              

‘When perfect is not perfect enough’- part 1

PART ONE

 image curtsey & copyright by
http://jcspock.com

So this week, I have decided to tackle the issue of perfectionism in all it grimy detail. I was amazed to find out that after the many projects that Kia has worked on she does not celebrate it like everyone else. Instead, she tries to see ways in which next time can be even better.

“I have never completed anything in my life and thought, ‘Wow! That’s awesome’” says Kia.

 “I don’t know what it is about me but, everything I do has to be bigger, better, just greater than my last attempts. I am never satisfied with my performances, never 100% happy. its like I always compete with myself in order to beat myself.”

“It’s because you are a perfectionist, right?” I interrupted, making notes in my note pad.  I must admit, that after seeing Kia at work, I already had preconcepted notions that she was a perfectionist.

Kia leaned forward and peered anxiously at what I was writing.

“No....take that out....I’m not a perfectionist!” she said. “No way...perfectionists don’t take the kind of risks I do... not instantly anyways....I mean I go after what I want and perfectionists don’t do that very often because everything has to be perfect before they can do. I don't wait for perfection, I just do. I never sit and look at every single intricate details before i make my move...I just move,” she explained.

 “I just go with my heart and I give 100% to everything I do...” She shook her head as she tried to explain further, “I just always get this feeling after everything I do...like something is missing....”

“You feel disappointed?” I asked.

 She nodded, before quickly shaking her head. “I don’t think that’s how I feel,” she said finally.

 “I just feel like I could have done better and so I plan  to do better. I always want everything to be so explosive, it’s that buzz that I get, that dies instantly once it’s all over and then I feel that voice saying, ‘It has to be bigger and better next time’. So I’m always pushing for more.”

“Cause you’re a perfectionist!” I laughed determined to prove that i was right in what i was saying.

“No!” she said adamantly. “I don’t.....Maybe I just have an insatiable appetite for more, I don’t know...but I am not one of them...”

She pulled out her phone and handed it to me.


 “You don’t believe me?” she said.

Slowly, I took the phone from her hands, curious about why she was handing me her phone. 

 “Google it!”  

She was actually being serious and so that was exactly what I did.

It turns out that some perfectionist never admits to the fact that they are perfectionist and some, like Kia, even go to the extreme to prove they are not.

I revealed my findings but she replied saying that Google must be wrong on this point.

“I know! We’ll just have to buy a book that has detailed information about perfectionism...that’ll be more accurate,” she concluded, as she took the phone and began logging into her Amazon’s account.

“You are seriously going to buy a book?” I giggled, before bursting into laughter.

She paused and looked at me and then suddenly laughed too.

I couldn’t argue with her anymore but there was definitely something here.

I have witnessed excitement in Kia’s eyes whenever she undertakes a project.

I have also seen what appears to be uncertainty after most of her project, where she is always questioning herself especially if she hadn’t done as well as she had hoped, even when everyone commends her about how great she had done.

I was beginning to wonder why she had such reluctance to admit that she was a perfectionist although I wasn’t sure whether she was one or not.

Maybe it was something from her past that keeps her pushing for more, who knows.

I know I can definitely relate to that.  But how?.....

Overcome the past, move towards the future: part 2

                                                                          PART TW0

                                                                              
Before we finished our conversation at Prêt, we were interrupted by Kia’s friend. He was 20 minutes early and suddenly her face lit up, and together they began to talk and laugh as if they were in their own little world. Suddenly the Kia I knew was back. Bubbly and free spirited. She began to talk about her book and how Kia Garriques had spent nights dreaming of this world which, existed in a far off galaxy of the universe, with super human power.

“Who’s Kia Garriques?” I said, knowing full well that everyone knew her as Nikki. “You mean Kia Storm.”

She laughed saying, “No! I meant Kia Garriques.”

“You mean, you haven’t told her yet?” her friend said, giggling away.

“What?” I asked in a confused manner.  I wanted to be in on their joke and was suddenly beginning to feel left out. I needed to be with the ‘in’ crowd.

Kia grinned. “Kia Garriques is writing a fantasy novel for teenagers.” she explained.

“But... what about Kia Storm?” I cried.

“Well I guess Kia Garriques is the alter ego of Kia Storm and Kia Storm is an image. I never try to look like that image in my daily life. I just like being normal. I guess I don't really like the spotlight too much. In my daily life, I dont like to be known too much,” she says. “So maybe in essence I see Kia Garriques as the writer, the creative side of me and well I guess Kia is just...".

Before she could say another word, her mobile phone rang and she was off outside, screaming excitedly into it, as though she had just heard some good news.

                                                                                                                                                                                                         

“Don’t worry,” her friend assured me. “She’s a complex character but, you got to love her. She has a heart of gold. She does so much but you would never know because she never promotes it too much, especially if its nothing to do with her writing. But she mostly talks about her dream which, is her novel. Even I can't wait to read this novel.”

"You havent read it?" I asked.

"No, just her sister and her agent have read it." he said. "It's fantasy fiction and believe me she has this unique imagination. I guess you can say Kia Storm writes the gritty stuff and Kia Garriques...well...Kia Garriques likes to create worlds...but I sure can't wait to read it."

"There's a lot more to discover about her." he grinned. "When this girl put her mind to something... I'm telling you, nothing stops her and she's got her heart on her book."

"Tell me some more..." He would not reveal anything else. He just placed his index finger over his lips as if to silence me.

I walked away from that meeting, still feeling like I didn’t know Kia as much as i would like. How could Kia Garriques be the alter ego of Kia when Kia Garriques was her reality?

                                                                       

Kia Storm/ Kia Garriques had mentioned to me on previous occasions that even though her friends were always telling her to grow up, she refused to listen. For a long time she felt something was wrong with her because she normally thought about life in bright colours and lights. She knows that her creativity radiates from her fairy tale yet inquisitive imagination.

I was once told that, “When we grow up, we become people who lose their originality and soon our life becomes more about caring for others rather than looking after number one." Kia knows that even when our priorities change, we can still build on what makes us wonderfully different from the rest of the human race and really start living our lives, rather than just existing.

I thought about one of my favourite singers, Jessie J, who had to deal with the pressures and stresses of being seen as different from a very young age. She has gone through a lot to get to where she is now. I mean, I remember reading somewhere how at the age of 11 Jessie J was diagnosed with an irregular heartbeat.

                                                                    

At the age of 18, she suffered a minor stroke and perhaps at that point she realised what was really important to her and has fought for her singing career since. Her most recent song on her album titled ‘Who’s Laughing Now’ is dedicated to those who bullied her, due to her illness when she was younger. “It wasn’t easy for me at school; I was called ‘Alien’ because I had a heart problem so I had these betas – blockers that actually turned my skin a light shade of green,” she said. 

My mind also drifted to Nicky Minaj, another artist who is different and not afraid to show it. Known as the ‘black Lady Gaga’, Nicky feels that she is happy not being part of the mainstream and promotes the idea of embracing your differences.

When comparing herself to the ‘Poker Face’ star, she said, “We both do the awkward non-pretty thing. What we're saying…well what I'm saying anyway is that it's OK to be weird. Maybe your weird is my normal. Who's to say? I think it's an attitude we both share. The point is, everyone is not black and white. There are so many shades in the middle, and you’ve got to let people feel comfortable with saying what they want to say when they want to say it. I don’t want to feel like I’ve got the gun pointed at my head and you’re about to pull the trigger if I don’t say what you want to hear. I just want to be me and do me.”    

                                                                         

So there you have it! Here I was thinking that we nerds have it hard, when most people, no matter who they go through, have similar traumas and experiences. It is all about how you stand up to these problems.

“You just have to think about others,” Kia had said to me. “If we focus on helping others, we begin to realise it’s not always about us all the time. When you focus on yourself so much, you are bound to start noticing the thing that isn’t right with you and that is the problem.”

So until next time....remember...we are all different and you know what? It feels great to be different... 

Overcome the past, move towards the future: part 1

PART ONE

From an early age, I learnt the hard way that life is full of challenges and it is not always easy to fit in with the crowd. I remember how, at school, it felt safer to keep a low profile and just follow what was hot at that moment. This can often be limiting, as it can prevent you from ever really being yourself and embracing your differences and just living your life the way you want to live it.

The strangest thing I find is that as we get older we are still caught up between this vicious circle, which carries on into our professional (adult) world.  We care too much what others think of us and this can limit our full potential.

I guess that when I was growing up, I wished I could have been more like the popular beautiful girls in my class. They all had beautiful figures and lots of male attention and were always being invited to infamous parties, which was the talk of the class the next day. 


Most of these girls were super skinny unlike my hips and bottom which were always too large for my liking. It seemed like every piece of clothing just hung on me. Plus it wasn’t cool that I could always be found somewhere in the library reading or doing my homework. As I hard as I tried to look and fit in with the in crowd, I just did not have the grace, looks or hair to pull off the hairstyles and clothes.

So I knew I didn’t have the glamour to compete with these super human creatures but, I had the brains. And boy, was I good at coming first in class! I felt that I had to study in order to be good at something and study I did. 


The better grades I received, the higher my status amongst the nerds! I was officially top of the nerd status list and I was proud to be there! But being a nerd had its disadvantages.  I was always bullied for being that girl who just studied all the time and was never accepted in the ‘It’ crowd, no matter how hard I tried.

And no matter how clever I was. In fact, it seemed the cleverer I became, the more I got picked on. I was getting good grades but something was missing. I had a longing for more than just being known as that nerd! I was never happy. I just wanted to be like the others. I wanted their lifestyles and even their boyfriends or at least a boyfriend. The popular kids were just a rare breed in my eyes. They were different. They were the apple of society’s eyes.

I grew up thinking the popular kids had life easy and when Kia confirmed that she was always popular at school, I felt slightly angry. She couldn’t possible understand me as a person and how much I have struggled.

From time to time, Kia talked about the power of women and how you have to stay true to who you were. I felt myself struggling against the urge to blurt out, “Easy for you to say. You have always been popular. You have no idea what it was like for me.”

It wasn’t until I noticed the questioning look on Kia’s face that I realised I had revealed my true thoughts. I really should have been more careful. They weren’t longer in my mind. I had said them and she had heard them.

“I didn’t mean...”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m use to it.”



There was an awkward moment of silence between us and for a split second, I thought I had blown the opportunity to shadow her for sure. We were sitting at Prêt and she was having her usual latte, “I hated being popular,” she said suddenly. 


“You thought you were bullied for being a nerd? Well, I was bullied for being too popular. Girls can be so mean at times and I had the bad end of the stick. Girls were afraid to have me around because they thought I was either going to hit on their boyfriend or make them look bad.”

She went on, “They were always trying to pick a fight with me because they thought I thought I was better than everyone else. I was always an easy target for both girls and boys easily picked out from the crowd and I hated the fact that I stood out from the crowd.”

Pausing for a moment, she stared into her latte as if she was seeing something I couldn’t and suddenly, her eyes were filled with sadness. I knew she was reliving some painful experience from the past. “I had so much pressure put on me that it was unreal. People told my mother she should be so proud of me because I was going to do so great. 


I became obsessed with being perfect. I remember when I didn’t get the GCSE grades I was predicted, I stayed in the park, afraid to go home, afraid to say ‘Hi mother, yeah, well you know those grades you were expecting, well, they didn’t happen’, ” she said, exasperated. 

She looked up at me. “You know there is a memory that I have that stick with me even to this day, when I think about it I push harder than ever to be somebody,” she mentioned.

“Tell me,” I said. I was curious and busy jotting down what she was saying in my note pad. I was hungry for more. I wanted her to spill all.

“I remember my first Psychology lesson, at college, when some guys just couldn’t stop bothering, like flirting, you know and I was trying to pay attention but they just wouldn’t quit. The teacher turned around angrily and told me to leave the boys alone and stop distracting them, even though they were the ones bothering me, “she stated. 

“You know what he said to me after class? He said, ‘You may think that butter can melt in your mouth but, in my class you are just another silly girl that thinks their looks is going to get them through life and it won’t. You won’t reach anywhere but, just have babies like all the others’.”

I didn’t know what to say to Kia, particularly because I couldn’t understand the effect that comment would have on her.

 “As a little girl, I always got so much attention that I became scared of going out.  But you could never tell because I always had lots of girls around me, ‘my crew’ I called them and they gave me that protective comfort, “she says, reflecting on some happy times.

“I felt safe with them and I wouldn’t go anywhere without them. I was brought up with a grandmother that told me I had to be smart, that looks fade and so I can never rely on them. It was embedded in my brain so much that I had an obsession to be taken seriously. 


I had this pretence air of confidence about me. I was determined to be taken seriously, coupled with the fact that I was extremely competitive. I didn’t want to be boxed in by anything and I fought hard against anything that tries to confine me.”

“Well... it’s all been for the good,” I said. “I mean, you are driven and you are focused and you seem to really love people so you were able to overcome all those negative...”

“You would think,” Kia said, cutting me off immediately. “You know what my biggest fear is? The bad memory of that teacher remained with me for a long time and I fought so hard against his voice. It uses to haunt so much that I rejected the idea of having kids, just being known for just that. It has taken a long time for me to accept myself for who I am and I am more determined than ever to embrace my differences.”

For a while, I couldn’t speak anymore, shocked and intrigued at what I had just heard. Whatever did happen next?

PART TWO CONTINUES.....

The importance of a positive mindset for your future

In this age of hardship, is it easy to let our troubles rule our lives, than to stand up like a noble modern day Joan of Arc and fight for what we want in life?

“It’s important never to lose sight of our dreams,” Kia once said to me. “Sometimes things can get so difficult that we end up losing sight of what we are fighting for in the first place. Having the mental determination to achieve is  vital in life, no matter what it throws at you. Why should anyone else have the authority to change it?”

I thought long and hard about what Kia had said. Everything seems so easier for her now but she had assured me that for a very long time it wasn’t.

 “There was once a time when each morning I had to convince myself I was truly happy just to stop feeling sad for just one day. I hate when people make you feel that your time is running out. We live in such a fast world, where everything must happen now and when it doesn’t, we never ever think positively.”

Was that really the case? Can everything really get better with a little bit of positive thinking? Does having the right mindset guarantee to always keep you on the right track to success?

If there is one thing that I can say through my journey of shadowing Kia Storm, it is that she is very determined and persistent. It was almost as if deep down in her heart, she really believed she was going to be this great, young writer. She believed in her dream so much that in less than a year she had over a dozen short stories published. 

“I love to push myself.” She would say. “Sometimes pushing myself harder reminds me that I’m still alive.” I didn’t understood what she meant by that and she didn’t elaborate. I had asked her peers about her and they all said the same thing. She was a workaholic.

 “What’s your book about?” I had asked her, but she only smiled and said.

“It’s gonna be epic. It’s about a whole new world, a world which I dream about, colourful worlds with super human creatures. Oh boy, it’s going to be awesome.”

That was all she said and even though I pried further, she only smiled even more revelling in my curiosity.

“You will read it next year,” she said.  Kia was talented and she said that for a long time, she tried to convince people of her talent. But the day she stopped trying to convince them, was the day they started taking notice of her.

“There are many individuals in life that will not see your talent immediately and will try and tell you that you should give up on your ‘fantasy’ and try something new. You start to think differently as you see people around you who are unemployed or are in a job that purely pays the bills and think maybe you should do the same,” Kia explained.

“But, even when life gets difficult, you need a strong, self – believing state of mind to help push you further to achieve your passion.” But, what is the main message here? Does this mean I too need to become a workaholic in order to become successful?

It seemed to me that Kia’s mental resilience has led her onto this amazing publishing juncture. In order to keep her aspiration of being a young fantasy fiction author, Kia leads a busy life. Her normal week consists of juggling two jobs per week; one where she works in the fashion industry preparing models to showcase diverse fashion on the catwalk and the other where she works on leadership training events for aspiring leaders and head teachers in various schools.

Both jobs took time to perfect and get used to and after work, usually in the late hours of the night, Kia pushed on with her main love of writing. It was this determination that earned her a reputation as a  young short – story writer and now had lead to the biggest accolade of all. It is the start of a challenging yet exciting trip to being a young published author, in just a year. Even more, she still has the time to encourage many young individuals like myself who still have to make their mark in the professional world.

American professional basketball player, Kobe Bryant has also displayed an extreme determination to follow his passion for his sport even when injuries could have got the better of him. He dislocated his right little finger during the 2008 – 2009 season but carried on playing, even when most players would have thrown his the towel and chose surgery over the game. His bravery and passion paid off as he went on to win his first award as the league’s most valuable player. His friend Hilary Swank once said that he likes to ‘get his mind out of the way’. By not thinking about his problem, he becomes strong enough to overcome it.

Like Bryant, rather than focusing on her struggles, Kia has picked herself up after every rejection and has continued writing and believing in herself. After a while, there were many who did offer her opportunities but, would she have ever got there if she just stopped trying? Michael Robotham, international crime writer and ghost writer for celebrities such as Geri Halliwell and Lulu, is no stranger to the difficulties of being in the right mindset.

He said, “I have wanted to be a novelist since I was about twelve and always saw journalism and ghostwriting as being stepping stones. I think writing can be taught, just as tennis can be taught, or golf or painting, but showing someone the theory won’t make them a great writer. Nobody else can put words on a page for you. It takes practice. It takes perseverance. Most of all it takes passion. If you’re writing for fame or fortune or posterity, prepare to be disappointed. If you’re writing because you’re passionate about it, prepare for a life long love affair.”

So my conclusion is that it looks like the professional world is a tough place to be in and success is not always at your fingertips. But, keep on trying and soon you will reach your ultimate ambition.

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